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I'd be happy to kiss you but not after you just got done licking yourself.

Uncle Jed - Mississippi

I think I rubbed your belly long enough. My hands are getting sore.

Uncle Jed - Mississippi

I think you're a sweet guy, but I'm not as obsessed about playing ball in the back yard as you are.

Uncle Jed - Mississippi

Um... Thanks for the nice can of flea spray, but I don't think I need it.

Uncle Jed - Mississippi

Before you say another word, clean up that pile you left in front of the TV.

Uncle Jed - Mississippi

Hey Jake I'm at the end of my rope, a marriage ceremony I just can't cope, on your knees to beg, when you hump on my leg, I feel we should just quickly elope.

Mr Limerick - Out There

You will be the boss, but I'll be the decision maker.

Ron - Mpls

Hey Duke, you asked me if I thought you were pretty or ugly. I think you're both, pretty ugly.

Alucard - Transylvania

But Fido, our date did make me long for another but no one else would come.

Alucard - Transylvania

Any guy whose tongue is so long he can lick is nose is a catch.

CWS

"You can't be bed trained until you're house trained."

Reyna La Braina - L. A.

"I could never trust you - you've strayed before."

Reyna La Braina - L. A.

"Some dogs will try anything to avoid going to the pound."

Reyna La Braina - L. A.

"Sorry, you're not the pick of the litter."

Reyna La Braina - L. A.

You're a pit bull in hound's clothing."

Reyna La Braina - L. A.

"Just like most wives I'm going to keep you on a short leash."

Teresa Dominici

I'm way too old for you in dog years.

Zenji

I think you just want to take flea baths with me.

Zenji

"If you marry me I'm in charge - it's going to be the tail wagging the dog."

Teresa Dominici

Enough begging, now roll over!

Sredni in MO

It's a beautiful collar, but I was expecting a ring.

Sredni in MO

Do you come with your own house?

S Hunt - Norton, VA

If you can live with my cold clammy hands, I can live with your cold wet nose!

PJ Ho - Pittsburgh, PA

Promise me you won't want children. You know I'm very anti-litter.

PJ Ho - Pittsburgh, PA

My neighbors hate you for killing their cats so don't eat any meat that they toss over our fence, Okay?

Flossie - The U.K.

Yes, of course I will adopt you!

Flossie - The U.K.

Promise me you'll stop humping my sister's leg every time you see her.

Flossie - The U.K.

My jaw still hurts from that rawhide treat you gave me last night.

Flossie - The U.K.

No, I will not serve Puppy Chow at our wedding!

Flossie - The U.K.

Sorry, we've outgrown each other - it was just puppy love."

lawrence walters - los angeles, calif.

"Are you aware of the neighborhood leash laws?"

larry g. - Westchester, Calif.

"Only if you promise not to drink toilet water."

lizzy g. - marina del rey, Calif.

"You're too late. I married the cat."

Michael Kuypers - Washington Twp., MI

"It's cute, but what am I going to do with a bone?"

James Reardon - North hollywood, CA

"No, No, I said, sit. You're not listening!"

James Reardon - North hollywood, CA

"I want you to be the only one, to have 'pants' in the family."

James Reardon - North hollywood, CA

"The answer is no, and stop sniffing my butt!"

James Reardon - North hollywood, CA

"I accept...under the condition you STOP marking your territory!"

Len M - New England

Scruffy... You proved you can teach an old dog new tricks but... This is a bit to far buddy....

Tom W - Lutherville Md

"Just remember, if my mother asks...you're a doctor."

mmrachel - NY, NY

"I said I want a stone, not a bone!"

mmrachel - NY, NY

I can't marry you... My mother was right... You ain't nothin but a hound dog...

Tom W - Lutherville Md

"Even if I say yes, your still going to the Vet!"

Audiowriter - Indiana

"My oh my, you do love those Beggi'n Strips don't you?"

Audiowriter - Indiana

"Max, your supposed to offer me a ring, not dog tags."

Audiowriter - Indiana

"Only if you promise to stop doing self fellatio in the front yard!"

Audiowriter - Indiana

"Benji, you have to stop hounding me about marriage!"

Audiowriter - Indiana

"Technically, we're both 21. But, in two years, you'll be a dozen years older than me."

Thomas S. - Hortonville, WI

"But, this time, substitute 'bride' for that other five-letter 'b' word!"

Thomas S. - Hortonville, WI

I'll say YES just as soon as you are house-broken.

Quark - Deep South

Your habit of sniffing butts in public HAS TO STOP!

Quark - Deep South

"I'll marry you, but first you have to beg."

mmrachel - NY, NY

"I thought you'd never bark."

mmrachel - NY, NY

As Elvis would say,"You ain't nothing but a hound dog."

Mark Fagan - Gallatin, TN

"Not to ruin the moment, but we would be having children, not a litter."

Frank Monaco - Coconut Creek, Florida

"I knew you were gonna ask...so I already installed a tree in the bathroom."

David Winger - Woodland Hills, CA

"And to think, at first, I only thought it was only puppy love."

David Winger - Woodland Hills, CA

"But can you learn new tricks?"

edberger - ny, ny

"I'm not changing my mind about having you fixed."

edberger - ny, ny

"Ok, I'll marry you, but don't think I'm going to jump, every time you bark!"

James Reardon - North hollywood, CA

If we do this... You have to promise me we'll try some different positions...

Tom W - Lutherville Md

You say I bring out the animal in you. But why not a tiger...

Tom W - Lutherville Md

I appreciate that you want to take our relationship to the next level, but I'm just not ready to go beyond petting right now.

Sonja - San Diego

"If we get married I don't want your friends sniffing around anymore."

Charlie S.

"Go fetch me a bigger ring."

Charlie S.

"I never thought you'd go this fur."

Charlie S.

"After we're married the only tail you'll be chasing is your own."

Charlie S.

"Okay, but I never do it on all fours."

Charlie S.

In these modern times, a person can marry just about anything, so we shouldn't have any problem with the legalities.

Quark - Deep South

I don't know.... I'm allergic to fleas.

Quark - Deep South

My first husband was a wolf, and so you probably aren't any worse!

Quark - Deep South

We can get married in a church, synagogue, mosque, court house, or a dog house.

marvin sager - rockville, md

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