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My advice? The next time you check to see what's blocking a vacuum cleaner hose, turn it off first.

Charlie Foxtrot - D.C.

That must have been one helluva sneeze!

Pia Doublestream - Yellow River

"Good news! Your Botox surgery went off without a wrinkle."

David Winger - Woodland Hills, CA

I've never heard of a game called Hide your Face and Seek a new one. But then there is a first time for everything!

Dreamer

"Your new face was found in the parking lot."

larry g. - los angeles, calif.

"Our make-up artist will be in shortly."

lizzy g. - marina del rey, Calif.

"Faceless is much better than spineless."

lawrence walters - Westchester, Calif.

The cartoonist wishes to apologize but they had an emergency and missed their deadline.

Jim D - Avon, IN

Worse case of SillyPuttyitis I've ever seen.

Jim D - Avon, IN

You wife requested we keep the ears and she'll explain why in detail right now.

Jim D - Avon, IN

Okay Congressman you are ready for your hearing.

Jim D - Avon, IN

Well you did say you wanted years taken off your face.

Jim D - Avon, IN (Congrats Charlie!)

"... it's a relatively new procedure based on the pioneering work of my colleague Dr. Potato Head."

JOE SEITZ - PHILA PA

"What did you expect from a $49.95 facelift?"

JOE SEITZ - PHILA PA

"This makes no senses."

JOE SEITZ - PHILA PA

"Looks like you lost a little weight since your last appointment."

Glen Effinger - Rochester, NY

"Don't worry, I'll just write you a prescription for some pastels."

Glen Effinger - Rochester, NY

"Wow! Thank goodness I was wearing latex gloves!"

Glen Effinger - Rochester, NY

"You've been thinking with your little head for so long your big one is beginning to look like it!"

Reyan La Braina - L.A.

"You're slowly morphing into a butt head."

Reyna La Braina - L.A.

Finally, a patient with a hair styled worse than mine.

Mr X - Whereabouts Unknown

No face, only one arm, hairy ugly legs, and a comb over hairdo. I see on the chart that your name is Lucky.

MrX - Whereabouts Unknown

You're what Capt Kirk would have looked like if the Gorn had won their fight.

An Organian - Outer Space

"Your hockey playing days are over; one too many face-offs."

Teresa Dominici

"I'm drawing a blank..."

Audiowriter - Indiana

Um...Have you seen the sixth sense?

Vanessa Brown - Gresham, Oregon

So you're saying there's no possibility that you went back in time and interfered with your parents trying Party on the Posturepedic?

Vanessa Brown - Gresham, Oregon

What the??? I said Clearasil not Clear a cell!!!

Vanessa Brown - Gresham, Oregon

"The good is...that's the best poker face I've ever seen."

mmrachel - NY, NY

How do you like your new job as a nuclear power plant inspector?

Flossie - The U.K

When your wife told you to "wipe that grin off your face" you didn't have to rub so hard!

Flossie - The U.K

I'd be willing to bet that from now on you will obey the sign in front of every gasoline pump that reads "NO SMOKING".

Flossie - The U.K

Next time you go duck hunting, I suggest that you never again walk around with a decoy on your head.

Flossie - The U.K

Did you check your sink drain?

Flossie - The U.K

You have such a blank look on your face...

Tom W - Lutherville Md

Well Mr. Newman, you're face now looks exactly like your knees, so when you lean down you can now be a tripod.

Mr X - Whereabouts Unknown

"Just apologize if you want to save face."

edberger - ny, ny

"I know I said it would work out just fantastic and be just beautiful. But, come on, nobody knew healthcare could be so complicated! Hey now, look on the bright side... er... uh... NEXT!!!"

chazzer - IL

So, Mister Horseman, you found your head but lost your face?

oakmoss

New shop vac?

oakmoss

Before or after you saw your mother-in-law naked?

oakmoss

Gesundheit?

oakmoss

"When the aliens abducted you, they said 'Heads or tails?,' and you chose Tails???"

chazzer - IL

"I'm really sorry. This is my worst circumcision ever...."

chazzer - IL

"Let's face it. Oops, bad choice of words, sorry...."

chazzer - IL

"Now the world will never find you, Waldo."

chazzer - Congrats Charlie S! - IL

If you let too many women sit on your face, what do you expect?

Zenji

I think you better stop using the facial scrub.

linda - ca

Well,your acne is gone.

linda - ca

It's true that Liquid face soap and Liquid PlumR look alike, but...... Oh, never mind. In this situation a good ass-chewing won't save face!

Quark - Deep South

"So this is the unmasking I've read about in the news?"

Len M - New England

"Nod once for yes, twice for no."

Glen Effinger - Rochester, NY

"What seems to be the problem, Mrs. Smith?"

Glen Effinger - Rochester, NY

That's your result of getting in the ring with Brooockkk Lesnar.

The Hawk - What A Rush

You say that you want to be a serious model, not just another pretty face.

Al - T. Cities

I never forget a face, but I'll have a hard time describing or remembering yours.

Mike Hunt - in the waiting room

You shouldn't have used the whole bottle of 'wrinkle remover'?

Hugh Jass - Facing South

Your name is False Face?, didn't I see you on an old Batman show?

Crisp P. Bacon - ME TV

That witness protection program you've entered has apparently gone too far.

CWS

Looks as if you did more than cut your nose off to spite your face.

S Hunt - Norton, VA

"You haven't gone blind and mute, Bob, I'm afraid it's a little more serious than that."

Audiowriter - Indiana

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

Audiowriter - Indiana

"There's no medical cure for literally giving face, Bob."

Audiowriter - Indiana

"I see in the file that your name is Justin McLeod."

Audiowriter - Indiana

When your a cartoon... You should always make sure the writers pencil doesn't have an eraser before you yell you suck...

Tom W - Lutherville Md (Correction)

Your wife only smacked you once?

Tom W - Lutherville Md

I don't think this is a reaction from the Viagra...

Tom W - Lutherville Md

I said I wanted to talk to you face to face...

Tom W - Lutherville Md

When your a cartoon... You should always make sure the writes pencil doesn't have an eraser before you yell you suck...

Tom W - Lutherville Md

"Good news Vinny! no one will ever identify you in a lineup."

lizzy g. - marina del rey, Calif.

Not surprisingly, you're shooting blanks.

Sredni in MO

Wow! That vanishing cream really works!

Sredni in MO

You say your first surgery was in Lanore, but then the Dr. operated on your head once more, he started on your face, but then he lost his place, I'll say that you looked better before.

Mr Limerick - Out There

They did operate on your nose, by the way, do you still have the receipt?

Ron - Mpls

They say you can read your mind by your face, in your case it's a complete blank.

Alucard - Transylvania

Well, the barber got your hair style cut okay, but .....

Ron - Mpls

Now, if they could do the same thing to those horrible legs!

Ron - Mpls

"Healthcare has become so impersonal."

edberger - ny, ny

"I don't think you'll ever be able to face your health issues."

Charlie S.

"The good new is that we finally were able to get your head out of your behind. The bad news - some parts of your face didn't want to leave."

Charlie S.

"I think the cure for the common cold had unintended consequences - when your runny nose left it took the rest of your face with it."

Charlie S.

"Look on the bright side - you'll never need glasses."

Charlie S.

"You're just another member of the faceless crowd."

Charlie S.

Excellent! You are now ready for the final step - your Brad Pitt facial tattoo.

Sredni in MO

The good news is the acne's gone...

Sredni in MO

Well Doc, did the chemical peel work?

linda - ca

Doc, what do you mean you don't recognize me.

linda - ca

You used the whole tube?

linda - ca

Well Doc, do I look younger or not?

linda - ca

"Maybe you could work something out, with a two faced individual."

James Reardon - North Hollywood, CA

"Sorry, there's only one other place to put the thermometer."

James Reardon - North Hollywood, CA

Face facts, eye can't help you. Who nose?

James Reardon - North Hollywood, CA

"You're overweight. How is that even possible?"

James Reardon - North Hollywood, CA

"There's not much I can do, perhaps you can fill that space with a clock!"

James Reardon - North Hollywood, CA

"It's nothing a good Mr. Potato Head set can't fix."

mmrachel - NY, NY

"It could be worse. You could be bald too." (correction)

Michael Kuypers - Washington Twp., MI

"It could be worse. You could be bald."

Michael Kuypers - Washington Twp., MI

"Looks like you picked the wrong time to get a phone with face-recognition software."

Michael Kuypers - Washington Twp., MI

"Good news. We've found a donor. A Mr. Potato Head."

Michael Kuypers - Washington Twp., MI

“ That’s a barefaced lie!”

Gregory Santora - Staten Island NY

So let me get this straight... you were playing hockey and you lost the ‘Face Off’...

Gregory Santora - Staten Island NY

I can see by the blank look on your face that you never heard of ‘Gonorrhea’.

Gregory Santora - Staten Island NY

You obviously cut off your nose to spite your face.

Gregory Santora - Staten Island NY

So, Bob, I see you’ve been working on your poker face.

Gregory Santora - Staten Island NY

Have you been in before? I'm drawing a blank.

Jim Cavanaugh - Portland, OR

Didn't they teach you during training that jet fighter pilots are supposed to wear a face mask?

Quark - Deep South

While we were busy removing your wrinkles, your wife sneaked into the operating room and cranked up the laser power to maximum. Sorry....

Quark - Deep South

"I think I'm going to lower the dosage of your acne cream."

mmrachel - NY, NY

....you'll get it back as soon as your account has been paid in full.

Quark - Deep South

"I think you've had one too many face lifts."

mmrachel - NY, NY

"On the bright side, you don't have a face that only a mother could love."

mmrachel - NY, NY

"We take HIPAA as seriously as you."

edberger - ny, ny

"The good news is you'll never have to worry about being another face in the crowd."

Cary Antebi - Brooklyn, NY

"It comes from being humiliated. You've totally acquired lose of face."

Cary Antebi - Brooklyn, NY

"Try logging in on Facebook."

Cary Antebi - Brooklyn, NY

"I've got worse news. You're also not showing up on Facebook."

Cary Antebi - Brooklyn, NY

"Unfortunately, your cartoonist is drawing a blank."

Cary Antebi - Brooklyn, NY

"When did you say was the last time you changed the blade in your razor?"

Frank Monaco - Coconut Creek, Florida

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