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No, my sick and demented friend. I do not pray to some invisible being you call "Phil".

Flossie - The U.K

I couldn't hear a thing you said because Phil didn't give us ears!

Flossie - The U.K

I want to shake your hand, but for some reason it just doesn't work!

Flossie - The U.K

"Every time we meet you're always empty handed."

lawrence walters - Westchester, Calif.

and remember that our uncle Captain Hook got a job at Goodwill because he liked the idea of working at a 'second hand' store.

Hugh Jass - At a Thrift store

Then I told the palmist to quit pointing fingers and just read between the lines.

Mr X - Whereabouts Unknown

Then I told Pee Wee Herman to "Palm This"

Mr X - Whereabouts Unknown

So lets knucle down and get a grip on the situation. Ok enough motivational talk lets eat.

Jim D - Avon, IN

I was so happy to be over that finger in nose phase.

Jim D - Avon, IN

If our fingers switched places with our toes ... boy would he freak out.

Jim D - Avon, IN

She got mad when I said I got my first clap from you.

Jim D - Avon, IN

Alright time for yoga. Vulcan sign in 3...2...1

Jim D - Avon, IN (Congrats Teresa!)

Hey, can you give me a hand.

linda - ca

A hand can be used for scratchin' and pickin'. And a hand can be used for your mouse when you're clickin'. It's great when you're baking and decide to start lickin'. But the best thing it does is called "choking the chicken!"

Flossie - The U.K

There are left handed scissors, and left handed guitars, but no left handed pianos, or left handed jars, but Paul McCartney was a left handed star.

Mr Limerick - Out There

You may be left handed, but I'm always right!

Ron - Mpls

So you're creative (left handed) and I'm logical (right handed), that don't make us half bad.

The Professor - Still stuck on an Island

Hey Seymore, cousin Eddie waved hello to me earlier, but he must have been tired, he only used his middle digit.

Ron - Mpls

You must be blonde, of course you seen me before, I'm you, your mirror image.

Alucard - Transylvania

"You lefties need to get a grip."

Teresa Dominici

"Jazz Hands?"

edberger - ny, ny

"Yuck...A bloody finger means he's picked his nose again."

S. Detwiler - Pittsburgh, PA

"It's weird...him being a big weight lifter with these little girly fingers."

S. Detwiler - Pittsburgh, PA

"Ew...I'm embarrassed to say where he puts this hand."

S. Detwiler - Pittsburgh, PA

"Doc said I have Hitch Hiker's Thumb. You?"

S. Detwiler - Pittsburgh, PA

"My pet peeve is always playing 'Itsy Bitsy Spider'".

S. Detwiler - Pittsburgh, PA

"I'm the smart one here - from those scrapes I can see you're nothing but a knuckle dragger."

Charlie S.

"I'm a politician so I don't worry about getting caught. The worst thing that could happen is a slap on the wrist."

Charlie S.

"My life line is long, but I see an amputation in your future."

Charlie S.

"I need to go to the gym, I have a weak backhand."

Charlie S.

"These are tough times - I'm basically living hand to mouth."

Charlie S.

"My nickname is Rosy Palm."

Audiowriter - Indiana

"I'm more important because I pick, wipe, jerk, scratch, etc. etc."

Audiowriter - Indiana

"Looks like we've become hand outs."

Audiowriter - Indiana

"I couldn't see exactly where you went last night but you definitely smell like fish this morning!"

Audiowriter - Indiana

"If he claps and gives us migraines again, I'm going to refuse to spank the monkey tonight."

Audiowriter - Indiana

You really rub me the wrong way.

linda - ca

Would you please bite the hangnail off my pointer finger? I haven't been able to reach it since we turned 65.

Quark - Deep South

"Sometimes it would be nice to know what you are doing."

edberger - ny, ny

I said high 5

nesey

Don't get handsy with me

nesey - Dallas

I heard that people who smoke Crack will sometimes see talking faces in their hands. I wonder what WE would see if we smoke Crack!

Quark - Deep South

This time YOU milk the cow.

David Winger - Woodland Hills, CA

Why is he always trying to give us away?

Sredni in MO (correction)

Puerto Rico needs us!

Sredni in MO

Why is always trying to give us away?

Sredni in MO

They can call it "clapping" all they want, it's still "slapping"!

Sredni in MO

I always think you're a mirror!

Sredni in MO

Hold me!

Sredni in MO

Just because the big guy is Right handed doesn't mean you get to hang around and watch all the time.

linda - ca

I'm getting tired of being the only one with blisters.

linda - ca

"Do you remember 'If the glove does not fit, you must acquit'? I came up with that!"

edberger - ny, ny

"You don't write. You don't text. I never know what you're doing."

Michael Kuypers - Washington Twp., MI

"To paraphrase The Beatles, I want to hold you, hand."

Michael Kuypers - Washington Twp., MI

"I feel naked without my jewelry."

Michael Kuypers - Washington Twp., MI

"Sorry. I never interlace with strangers."

Michael Kuypers - Washington Twp., MI

"I hope no one asks this idiot how much five and six are. No point bringing the feet in on this."

Michael Kuypers - Washington Twp., MI

"So you're thinking about becoming a foot? How long have you felt this way?

James Reardon - North Hollywood, CA

"No, I didn't give you the finger, I just had arthritis!"

James Reardon - North Hollywood, CA

"The restroom sign says; 'Employees must wash hands'..No one is looking, lets bolt!"

James Reardon - North Hollywood, CA

"Your mom and I dated for awhile, and one night, I didn't wear a glove, and that's how you were born!"

James Reardon - North Hollywood, CA

"Remember the time we went out to see that show, and we got the clap?"

James Reardon - North Hollywood, CA

You may be my twin but we're total opposites...

Tom W - Lutherville Md

Read between the lines buddy...

Tom W - Lutherville Md

What do you mean I'm your right hand man...

Tom W - Lutherville Md

I caught you red handed...

Tom W - Lutherville Md

Your face should be red... You kept me up al night...

Tom W - Lutherville Md

Go ahead, I'm all ears..... um...... I mean...... Oh, never mind!

Quark - Deep South

Talk to the hand, Lefty....... Wait, that's all you CAN talk to! Awwwwwwww...... Just forget it!

Quark - Deep South

NO MORE "HIGH FIVES"! Last time, you gave me a bloody nose!

Quark - Deep South

Can you give me a hand?

S Hunt - Norton, VA

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