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Yeah, I also read about the evils of drinking so I gave it up, reading that is.

Mr X - Whereabouts Unknown

Well, hello Mr Head, would your first name be Dick?

Mr X - Whereabouts Unknown

I want what you are drinking.

linda - ca

Maybe it's time to go. Your head just turned into a smiley face.

linda - ca

"Recently divorced?"

edberger - ny, ny

"Let me guess, your here for happy hour."

Dianne Cloutier - Milwaukee, WI

Really? Your name is Richard Happy?

Sredni in MO

Are you by any chance related to my ex-wife? I think it's the mouth!

Flossie - The U.K

With that light reflection off your head, Santa should have you guide his sleigh.

Hugh Jass - North Pole

So you consider your round, bald head a cure for baldness

Hugh Jass - At the bar

"I almost didn't recognize you on top of that suit and tie."

Brooklyn Guy - The Peach State

You're happy that Clinton lost, but you're worried and angry about Trump's erratic behavior. That's enough to make anyone's head explode!

Flossie - The U.K

"So you are my wife's ex? I guess that explains that."

Frank Monaco - Coconut Creek, Florida

"It was a political speech, 'Lend me your ears' is just an expression."

Charlie S.

"You might be smiling, but your liver isn't."

Charlie S.

"Trust me. You'll lose that expression once you get married."

Charlie S.

"I can guess who you voted for in the last election, you haven't changed that expression since."

Charlie S.

"My wife asked me to hang out with you a bit more - she says I need to be more well rounded."

Charlie S.

"Yes, it's Happy Hour, but you're overdoing it!"

James Reardon - North Hollywood, CA

"Have a nice daze!"

James Reardon - North Hollywood, CA

"Just because Wal-Mart hired you, instead of me, is no reason to gloat!"

James Reardon - North Hollywood, CA

"So, how long have you been an Uber driver?"

lizzy g. - marina del rey, Calif.

There once was this young lad, who always looked so glad, and when his smirk grew, he really must have knew, that his look made me insanely mad.

Mr Limerick - Out There

I may just get a stick pin, one little prick and it'll ruin your day.

Ron - Mpls

Remember to always smile and don't be sad, because sad backwards is Das, and das not good.

Ron - Mpls

Your constant smile and grin, and I hate everyone, we're made for each other!

Alucard - Transylvania

Quit giving me that funny look...

Sredni in MO

Hey! I saw you on The Joke's On You website!

Quark - Deep South

George, how a lush like you ever got to be head of MI6, I'll never know.

Sredni in MO

"You're the perfect 'yes' man for a politician."

S. Detwiler - Pittsburgh, PA

"Uh...I don't think you're done with the plastic surgery yet."

S. Detwiler - Pittsburgh, PA

"In my neighborhood, that permanent smile would get you clobbered every day."

S. Detwiler - Pittsburgh, PA - Thank you

You're an air head!

S Hunt - Norton, VA

"So,hoW did it go last night"

val - ingleside

"Well, when I drink - I turn into Charlie Sheen."

Audiowriter - Indiana

"I know why your smiling - so put your other hand up on the bar - now!"

Audiowriter - Indiana

"You take happy hour just a little too seriously."

Audiowriter - Indiana

"Wipe that smile off your face!"

Audiowriter - Indiana

"I don't know what you're drinking, but you better leave a really big tip!"

chazzer - IL

"My friend, you may have a problem when you try to get a passport photo."

chazzer - IL

"Ya know, 'Put On A Happy Face' is just a song...."

chazzer - IL

"Ballooney!"

chazzer - Congrats S. Detwiler! - IL

You can't say I didn't warn you about inhaling the gas from your son's birthday balloons!

Quark - Deep South

"I never knew there was a Mister Congeniality."

Michael Kuypers - Washington Twp., MI

"I think one of us has the wrong definition of a gay bar."

Michael Kuypers - Washington Twp., MI

"I'm just waiting around till you pay your bar tab."

Michael Kuypers - Washington Twp., MI

"Pardon me, but the gal at the end of the bar seems to be winking at you."

Michael Kuypers - Washington Twp., MI

Why did you look at me like that when I mentioned I'm not married?

Quark - Deep South

Let me guess.... that sexy bartender did NOT whisper to you a Stock Market tip.

Quark - Deep South

You obviously got some before coming here.

Quark - Deep South

"You say you haven't left here since the election?"

edberger - ny, ny

"How many happy in your hour?"

edberger - ny, ny

I've never been able to get that face from drinking.

J. Boyd - Amarillo, Tx

I hear that smile is all you got in your divorce....

Tom W - Lutherville Md

You have a medical marijuana card don't you...

Tom W - Lutherville Md

You have no nose... What the hell are you so happy about...

Tom W - Lutherville Md

"Bartender! Cancel my highball!"

Michael Kuypers - Washington Twp., MI

"Why the bong face?"

David Winger - Woodland Hills, CA

"I bet you get more laughs than the guy in the White House."

David Winger - Woodland Hills, CA

"After a few drinks you must become hysterical."

David Winger - Woodland Hills, CA

"No kidding. You came here to drown all your happiness?"

David Winger - Woodland Hills, CA

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